Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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