I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
