Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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