I'm really into asian looking animals
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
