guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
