I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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