i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
