you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
