So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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