Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
