let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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