In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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