He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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