he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Randomize
