When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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