Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Randomize
