"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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