I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
