I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
