Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
you will always have a special place in my vag
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
