he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
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