My cat gives me a boner
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
