Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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