i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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