wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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