no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
