i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
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