I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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