so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize