Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize