Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
