I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
