well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to summon your inner elephant
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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