Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
