New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize