Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
wow bdsm is so cute
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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