i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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