I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Randomize
