spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
