He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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