My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
