Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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