Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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