O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
