Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
