Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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