i permit you to call me
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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