The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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