I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
