Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
