these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
