making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
