Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
