And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
