No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
