you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
