Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
