dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
