I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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