is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I deserve this hangover.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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