nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
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Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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