The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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