yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
